My DD #2 has been through so many times of struggling, it pains me to see it time and time again. A young teenager should not have to deal with the issues that most adults would have difficulty mulling through. Yet day after day she goes through the motions and doing what she needs to do.
Today I was able to spend some time alone with her while her sisters went into town. We didn't do anything that could be viewed as special or important but it was for me. We spent some much needed bonding time, mother and daughter. We sat and watched a movie but it was more then just that. We sat side by side, snuggling together on the couch. We didn't really talk or even acknowledge each other but we knew that the other was right there.
The time we had together reminded me of the moments we shared in the wee hours of the morning, while she was nursing. Just her and I close to each other, face to face. Granted we were not face to face today but as she curled up next to me, nestled behind my legs against the back of the couch, she was at peace and content. Like a baby, she was protected and safe. Safe from all the glaring eyes and sometimes harsh words. Safe from the triggers that send her into a rage.
Just like the pony in the picture above, all she ever wants is to be loved and shown affection from those around her. The sad eyes tell her life story and her cautious steps show her fears. Just like the pony, she longs for a safe gentle touch. Even when she is tired and wants to give up, she continues to stand and put one foot in front of the other. She is my inspiration at times. If she can keep going day after day, then so can I. We will hold our head up as high as we can and march to the beat of the drum for as long as it takes.
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