Cherished Memories

       When dealing with a person with MI, specially with a child, there are so many things that need to be considered in even some of the simplest decisions. You need to look at how stimulating an activity could be to the child as well as a talk out solutions that may arise. In addition to this you need to also look at the child's physical ability to do an activity.
       Some of the medications that people with MI take can impede their ability to do some things or add issues that need to be considered. My DD #2 is on a medication that can make it easier for her to become dehydrated. With this issue we have to think about how accessible bathrooms would be during outings. How long an outing will be as well as the weather conditions. Obviously one days that the temperature is going to be hot, she would need to ingest more water then she normally did.
       Another thing that one would need to keep in mind is the energy level it will take for certain activities. Like many medications, psychological medications can cause drowsiness in the first several weeks as the body gets used to it. These symptoms may decrease as time goes on and the body adjusts but there are some that do not diminish and you have to rethink the activities you wish to participate in. There are several end of the year activities that my DD #2 has to sit out on due to several issues that do not include her behavior but rather due to the side effects of her medication.
       This can impact a child more then we may think. Knowing that her friends will be out having fun while she has to stay behind. One end of the year activity brought up some concerns, by her teachers, that she may have some difficulty in participating. I met with a school official to find out exactly what the concerns were and faced them head on. My DD #2 and I, with the help of one of her workers, talked out all the possible things that could go wrong and what she can do in all those circumstances.
       With accommodations in place, my DD #2 was able to participate in at least one of the end of the year activities which she was looking forward to so much. I didn't have the heart to tell her she couldn't go but with help we did find a solution for her. With supports in place, she was able to have some treasured memories with her friends that she will hold onto. Granted she will not be able to have some memories that her friends have in regards to  different things, she will have some special ones.
      

Highway Robbery

       MI effects so many people in so many different ways. For some it may cause the MI individual to seclude themselves. It may cause others to act irrationally or unsafe. Yet in others is may cause them to be out going and do something you would not normally do if you were stable.
       How MI effects the individual may be and often does effect those who are caring for them differently as well. Some care givers even begin to have issues themselves with anxiety and depression. We get so wrapped up in the person we love and care for that we allow things. hobbies and enjoyment to the wayside.
       When behaviors or emotional issues begin to effect one's ability to relax, it robs those individuals of some much needed coping skills. This does not only go for those who are MI but also for the caregivers. Even caregivers need a way to "blow off steam" or just chill every now and then, because we all know that there are days that you just don't have an extra minute to breathe.
       I know that for me, depression set's in very easily where I too struggle with Bipolar. When I first went on medication my hands would shake terribly. This interfered with my ability to draw at times thus taking away both a coping mechanism as well as a hobby of mine. I am blessed in the fact that my DD #2 also loves to draw and has a natural ability to boot. I am able to get back into something I have always enjoyed doing at the same time as showing her that this can be a positive coping mechanism for her.
       My love of drawing is not only something I enjoy doing but it is very good for the body and soul. My DD's and I will go to a place that we want to draw and sit for hours out in the fresh air to draw. After we are done we also have something we can look at and know that we have been  productive. Drawing also brings with it sometimes a much needed distraction from life in general. Everyone needs that from time to time.
       If you do not learn anything else from this post, please listen to this. Keep doing your hobby's and interests so that you do not get over whelmed by what goes on around you. Whether you have a loved one with MI or not, this is an important thing, even if it is only 30 minutes a day. Don't allow yourself to be a victim of highway robbery.
      

      Sometimes the end product is worth more then what you think it is. I have a hard time sometimes in taking my own advice. I have not seriously drawn in over 10 yrs because I was too wrapped up in caring for my children. I have decided to do it now and drag out the old drawing book. I am not only doing this for me but for my DD's as well, because when you do not take care of yourself, how can you care for another?

Love and Affection

       I do not believe that it matters how long you deal with loved ones who have MI, it doesn't get easy. I also don't believe that it gets better with time or fully goes away. When someone is dxed with MI, it does not mean its the end of the world, even though it may feel like it at times.
       My DD #2 has been through so many times of struggling, it pains me to see it time and time again. A young teenager should not have to deal with the issues that most adults would have difficulty mulling through. Yet day after day she goes through the motions and doing what she needs to do.
       Today I was able to spend some time alone with her while her sisters went into town. We didn't do anything that could be viewed as special or important but it was for me. We spent some much needed bonding time, mother and daughter. We sat and watched a movie but it was more then just that. We sat side by side, snuggling together on the couch. We didn't really talk or even acknowledge each other but we knew that the other was right there.
       The time we had together reminded me of the moments we shared in the wee hours of the morning, while she was nursing. Just her and I close to each other, face to face. Granted we were not face to face today but as she curled up next to me, nestled behind my legs against the back of the couch, she was at peace and content. Like a baby, she was protected and safe. Safe from all the glaring eyes and sometimes harsh words. Safe from the triggers that send her into a rage.
       Just like the pony in the picture above, all she ever wants is to be loved and shown affection from those around her. The sad eyes tell her life story and her cautious steps show her fears. Just like the pony, she longs for a safe gentle touch. Even when she is tired and wants to give up, she continues to stand and put one foot in front of the other. She is my inspiration at times. If she can keep going day after day, then so can I. We will hold our head up as high as we can and march to the beat of the drum for as long as it takes.

Patience Is A Virtue

       While my DD's and I were out enjoying the nice weather and the sights in the town we have called home for the last four years, we came upon some local wildlife. We saw a mallard duck, a white goose and a Canadian goose that were hanging around a small pond. As we walked around the pond, we saw several others out enjoying the day as we were. We also saw a few small children running around after the birds trying to feed them the bread and crackers that they had.
      It didn't matter that they were running after then calling, "ducky, ducky!" the birds just kept on running faster and some even flew to the center of the pond. As the children threw the break and crackers into the water they learned that the birds would come closer to them. The second they tried to get closer to the "duckies", their actions itself scared the birds. It didn't matter that they had food for them and it didn't matter that all they wanted to do was pet the them. They felt threatened by the innocent excitement of the children.
      As my children and I were finishing up with our "drawing trip", we noticed the birds were still hanging around and there were some new children feeding them. As the children dispersed and we got closer to them, one mother gave my DD's a piece of bread to feed them. My DD #2 sat down and with the bread pieces in her hand sat quietly without moving. Her determination to hand feed this one Canadian Goose paid off after over 5 minutes of this. As you can see in the picture above, the goose is eating out of her hand.
      My girls learned a valuable lesson here, that you need to be determined in what you want and don't give up on it. They also learned that patience and control of your own body can get you ahead of others who are quick to the punch. Seeing her sitting there for that amount of time, determined to feed that goose, solidified my own thoughts regarding the importance of controlling your own actions to reach your goal in life or what ever your situation you are in.
      The same can go for situations involving people with MI. When you keep your cool and your voice at a steady tone and volume, situations can be defused. It may not happen the first time you try it or even the second time but it will eventually happen. We need to have the determination I saw in my DD #2 that day. When I finally got this message through my head it still took years for this to be able to happen with success. I have to admit that it doesn't always work but it has worked more then half the time. I just have to keep on trying and praying that God gives me the strength to continue to keep that peace inside me to be able to handle my children and what they bring into our home.
       It has not been an easy road and it isn't over yet. This is a life long journey that we have just like every other parent out there. Our issues with our children do not end when they graduate High School nor will the MI be gone once they are adults. In many cases, the issues get worse as adults, not because of the MI itself but because as adult we can no longer force our children/loved ones to take the much needed medication. I pray that the Lord gives each and everyone of us the ability and strength to preserver and come out on the other side as "achievers".

Storms Of Life

       This past week has been a difficult time for many in our state, some more then others. We had an unusual situation that is rare to the extent it was on June 1st. Our great state had several encounters with tornado's. Granted the tornado's that whipped through our state were no where close to the damage most tornado's do but when you are not used to them, it is down right scary. Even when they don't hit where you are but come close, is freaky.
       Storms effect everyone differently. They can effect you physically, emotionally and mentally. For my DD #1 and I, we experience storms physically with painful joints that ache when the barometric pressure drops. For my DD #2 she loves most storms, the excitement of the thunder and lightening and even the rising water that floods our parking stops during heavy downpours. My DD #3 is still young enough that she has a lot of fears regarding impending storms. This last storm that involved the tornado's, caused us all to be a little more anxious about the danger they could possibly do.
        Unlike the members of my family, good friends of ours, Michael and Judy, came down during the storm and chatted for a bit while we all watched the news to follow the tornado's path's. Michael has been through many tornado warnings and watches, so he was calm, cool and collected. My DD's seemed to calm down more with Michael and Judy being here, and my DD's #1 and #3 actually calmed down enough to fall asleep. Where my DD #2 and I stayed up watching the news as well as the lightening outside.
       Like the events of the other night's storms, living with a person with MI can be similar. Things can be calm and beautiful and suddenly a storm in life arises without much warning. Even when you have warning, there is very little you can do to stop it once it is in motion. Some storms in life can be like our parking lot flooding, be inconvenient but not too bad. Some may be like a good thunder and lightening storm and just make a lot of noise with not a lot of damage. Some yet can be like a hurricane, blowing heavy and ripping things apart that makes life difficult to manage till after the storm is over and clean up can happen.
      Then there are those  storms that can be weathered with an experienced person. It wasn't because Michael had some magical powers or that we wouldn't be hurt in a tornado because he and Judy were here. It was instead because he had experience in these difficult and stressful situations involving tornado's. He and Judy had a calm about themselves and that in turn calmed the girls.
       I have found that the same can be said for the storms in life that are a "given" when dealing with a person with MI. When the people around the individual is calm then that in itself is calming to the others around them. I have noticed that if I "loose it" then the situation gets out of control faster. Another thing that helps with the life storms is being prepared for situations to happen. If there is a plan in place for those difficult times, it is much easier to come out on the other side of the storm with minimal damage and repair work to do.