Heart To Heart: pt 2

       What no one knows about this child's home life is that there is an abusive father dictating every one's actions, words and ability to reach out for help. The father is abusive by both physical anger and verbal/emotional abuse. This child felt that they could do no right by the father that they loved so much. This child felt as though the father would not believe them anyway so why bother upsetting him or failing in his eyes. Nothing was worth that, including their safety.
        About  5 years later, the secret was finally put to words and the parents found out. Just as the child feared, the father did not believe what had happened. "Your lieing! Why would you say such things?" is what rang in the ears of that child as the tears rolled down the face. The child thought the worse had gone by but the worst was yet to come. At 16 years old, that child went through the court process without the help of her father. The mother was there to lean on but this was never talked about in the home again. The child again had to suffer in silence.
        Years later this child continued to deal with the abuse in silence. Silence had been easier now, comforting in a way, used to the feeling or lack there of. Blocking the thoughts and feelings from the mind as best the child could. The child was no longer a child anymore and the destructive behavior had become a way of life. Staying drunk, yelling and anger were a coping skill, that worked for a while. When this no longer worked and they had realized what they were doing, it was time to face the fears and memories.
        Just because one wants to "get better" is only half the issue, the hardest part of healing is yet to come. It took years for this person to get past blaming themselves. Years of finally giving the burden to the Lord and NOT pick it back up again. It was years before they were finally able to talk about it without crying and feeling it all over again. Years before they truly could forgive and finish healing. 25 years after the abuse ended I can finally say I have a peace in me that passes ALL understanding. This unfortunately it came 10 years too late to tell my father that I forgive him.
        Yes this "story" was about my own abuse at the hands of two men I looked up to when I was little. The struggle I went through to get to the place I am today is also real.  The regrets I have for not having the relationship I wanted with my father. All those years that were wasted because I was too mad at my father. The years that can't be made up. 
         The reason for going over all of this is because this is what my DD #1 wants to write about, her abuse and how she came out on the other side victoriously. A teenager's story about her own abuse for teenagers to read and see that they are not the only one. Share what worked and what didn't work in her healing process. She has come a long way from where she was 5 years ago but she also has a long road ahead of her. She is further in her healing then I was at her age.

Continued one more time..............