Misunderstanding

       When someone does not know all the facts or the situation fully, there leaves a lot of room for misunderstandings regarding a situation. Like in this picture to the left, is this a joyous moment or a upsetting time for this girl? The facial feature suggests that it is a solemn, serious time yet her dress suggests a happy time. Who is to say what is surrounding this little girls day. Rest assured that this girls day was a joyous one, it was the day her father married his second wife. The photographer wanted it to be a sweet picture that she will remember the day and how she felt to be shown even years later.

     Too many times people misread a situation by looking at the facts and not what was motivating the behavior. My DD #2 is dealing with just that in the court system. The lawyers involved are taking the facts of her case without looking at why she did what she did to get herself in trouble with the law. Too many times we look at just part of a situation and refuse to see the other side.

     This week we found out that my DD #2's past issues are being brought to the table in addition to her current issues. So instead of her facing just two issues, we are facing twelve. What a burden to place of a young teens shoulders. The judge in this case has voiced his opinion regarding the lawyers petition and without really saying so, has reprimanded the lawyer for asking the past to be placed with the present.

      Granted I know that it is the lawyers job to make a case out of facts and paint a picture of the events, no matter how unreasonable the charges are. Too many times innocent behaviors are blown way out of proportion or misunderstood because the background knowledge is not looked at. Even hearing the facts of a case from a medical or mental health side of things, the lawyer may just brush it too the side and refuse to look at it because it would hurt their side of the story.

     Why do things like this have to happen? Why would someone put a child with documented MI be put though this type of situation? Too many out there don't even think MI is really a true defense nor will they every accept that as a point of view. With this being said, a person with significant MI will never get a fair case/trial. It is placed on the shoulders of the lawyers that do believe in MI cases to defend them. No matter how much documentation one has may not be enough though. Misunderstandings can really hurt more then just the MI persons life. It can affect all those around them who love them. Keep this in mind the next time you may see someone doing something odd or weird. Don't be so quick to judge because you do not know the whole picture.

Inherited Genes

          BP disorder is not something that one chooses to have nor is it something that is preventable. You can not get BP disorder because of some kind of trauma, it is something you are born with. Looking back to the infant years of my DD#2, I can now see the difficulties she had as a child in relationship to her ADHD and BP. The inability to to deal with being still, we nic named her our perpetual motion baby. As a toddler and young child I remember wanting to pull my own hair out due to her risk taking behavior. Playing "Pirate" on top of the refrigerator with a large butcher knife or the times she would ride her bike full stream into a large boulder just so she could "fly" threw the air over her handle bars when she smashed into it.
          Just as I see things in her earlier years, I remember times in my younger life where I too did risky behaviors. Setting fires in bushes, walking on top of chain linked fences or climbing up too far into trees. Granted all of these things I listed can be normal childhood behavior by themselves and should not been taken as "signs of mental illness". One needs to look at the broader picture, several incidents grouped together paints the picture. Like in a picture, one line does not make a picture but many lines do.
          As my DD's #2 & 3 got to be a teenagers, they got harder to deal with. The behaviors were no longer something I could manage without medical intervention. Yes they saw their counselors every week but that was not enough. Because BP is a brain disorder, the chemicals in the brain are "off kilter" and medication supplements are what is needed to achieve long term stability. Yes you can go months and even years without medication but at some point your number is going to come up.
         I, like my children, have BP as well as several others in my family line. I was dxed when I was 18 with Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD), which is now called BP disorder. I went for many years without medication until the stresses of raising children got to be too much, and I went on medication. Shortly after my marriage of 7 years ended, I just didn't have the time to go to a counselor between working, college and raising three kids, so I stopped taking my medication. I thought I would be fine without my meds and didn't even think twice about it.
         I managed to achieve stability without medication for almost 10 years with diet, exercise and plenty of sleep, but that did not last. When I began to have legal issues with my DD #2, my life came crashing down around me. I could no longer keep my head above water and I had to go back on medication almost a year ago. I could feel myself going down a long slippery slope and I knew what was at the bottom. I wasn't willing to allow my children to suffer because I was being overwhelmed with grief and depression.
         Medication is not the end all of supports needed for someone with BP. Stability is so very important and sometimes difficult to maintain. One has to want stability for it to work and until that desire is seen and strive for, stability will not come. There is a fine line when it comes to just being stable and being happy and stable. Medication can only do so much for you and then its all up to you to change your thinking, your actions and your own fulfillment in life. So go out there are strive for a full life with or without whether you suffer from MI or not. Make reachable goals and then achieve them and live life to the fullest.