When you are dealing with a child who's hormones and emotions are on an almost constant roller coaster you tend to revisit issues on a regular basis. Sometimes these issues can be rather trying and taxing on those around that are trying to help you. It's similar to that of watching a favorite movie more then once, you know what is going to happen and you know the outcome but you keep playing it over and over again. Unlike watching a movie, life is not as exciting or entertaining as a movie.
It is hard for a parent to see things going down the already beaten down pathway and revisiting issues that wreak havoc within their still fragile minds and young bodies. This is extremely hard to watch because there is not a darn thing you can do to have it turn out differently. No mater how much you love them and how hard you work with them, if it does not "click" in their minds, nothing will change. In their odd ways, things that "click" for them isn't always what would normally "click" for others.
For outsiders that do not understand what it is like to deal with an individual with MI, things look differently to them. When a rage is occurring, others may see a child having a really bad temper tantrum. When you see a child who has "run away" several times it may be interpreted differently and the child would be taken away and placed in foster care or a group home. When a child is skipping school one may see this as a delinquency thing and take action for it.
Just because a child has MI that also does not in anyway say that a "typical" or "normal" teen action is always an MI issue. Yes children with MI do skip school or run away and it isn't anything more then a teenage rebellion thing. That is why people who can differentiate the differences between the two are needed to put the pieces together correctly. Also just because one particular thing happens to be an MI issue doesn't mean that it can't be a normal "teen rebellion" at another time, this is why parents play an important roll in their child's recovery and stabilization.
One night one of my DD was having a particularly difficult time with missing a loved one in her life. She had decided to walk to this person's house to make sure they were ok the only problem with this idea was that #1: it was 11:00 pm and #2 this loved one lived too far away and she couldn't possibly walk there. These things did not matter to her, all she was focused on was getting to their house and she refused to be swayed with reason. I was able to get my DD to stop and talk to me after we had been walking for about 20 minutes as I tried to reason with her.
With no avail, my DD began to walk away from me again. I was trying to think about what I could do at this point. If I called the police, my DD would be seen as another runaway attempt and I didn't want the police to take her. I knew she was just milling over things in her head about her loved one and she wasn't thinking straight. I knew this was part of her MI and getting "stuck" (being hyper focused) on this particular thing. In a matter of two minutes my DD was out of my view and I needed to act or I would loose her. I began to walk in her direction when I saw her running toward me, crying. She ran into my open arms and she just bawled and melted as I reassured her I was there. We stood there and hugged for a little bit till she calmed down.
I was so relieved that she came back to me on her own and I didn't have to call the police for assistance, I saw this as a sort of breakthrough for her. She had never come back on her own before when she was that determined to leave. The relief I was feeling was almost over powering, I wanted to cry right along with her. I was proud of her for making this step toward what I am hoping is a breakthrough for her. All I want is for my DD's to have a normal life and be happy with what they have achieved and not be over come by what they have not be able to reach. Unfortunately many who suffer from MI can't get past those unreachable goals, they get stuck.
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