Faith Like a Mustard Seed

       I know I have touched on how important my faith means to me and I wanted to go more in depth about this. I have been attending church since I was born and the journey through out my life. I have had some very heartfelt and momentous times involving the church family. Yes there were times in my life that I didn't always feel this way and for a period of time even walked away from the church. I had filled my life with drinking parties and other things that got in the way of church activities.
       I didn't see church as something worth attending regularly until my DD #1 was walking and started to "repeat some of our favorate words". By the time she was 2 1/2 yrs old, I had pretty much given up drinking and making some better choices in our lives for her. I began going back to church every week and keeping christian praise and worship playing during the day. I felt like things were on the right path for my family, all I needed to do was get my husband (at the time) to go to church with us.
       When my life came crashing down by divorce, I slid into some difficult times both emotionally and spiritually. It took a while for me to pick myself up long enough to see the good things still in my life, my children. I wanted more for them and knew I needed to get back on the right path. We went back to church as well as praying together. The road wasn't always smooth nor was it easy to go. Things have happened that I am not proud of nor would care to repeat ever again.
        Those struggles have brought my faith even stronger. I, at one point, had to give the Lord all the control in my life. I couldn't go it alone and I needed God to give me the strength to handle what I didn't know at the time, would come in our future. I know now looking back, that without God's help, there was a good chance I would not be where we are now.
        When my DD#2 began to exibiting concerning behaviors and praying things didn't get worse, I had to work on releasing everything to God because there was very little I could do for her. My world came crashing down once again because of her MI, and there is NOTHING I could do to protect her this time. This particular incident cripled my ability to help her, it was out of my hands. I sat by trying to figure things out with no avail. This was the start of the hardest 6 months I would ever have to go through in my life thus far.
       My DD#2 spent several weeks out of my home to regulate her MI and get her stable again. My emotions and thoughts were all over the place, not in the bad way though. With frequent pray, worship and leaning on the church family, we have managed to make it this far. I have a peace in my heart to keep moving forward even when I want to give up. I also have a joy with my heart and the eyes to see good even in this negative and stressful life.  God carries me even when I can't go any further and continues until I can walk again in His light. Constantly keep your eyes and heart on Him and He will always charish and hold you.