Friends Forever ?

      I think that one of the most significant pit falls of dealing with MI is the inability to make and keep friendships over a period of time, specially when the MI is present prior to the pubescent years. Many children with MI also have difficulty in social settings and lack the ability to sustain friendships that may be arraigned by social programs that some school have to help these kids. Even when friendships are made many of the children do not have the ability to maintain those friendships.
      For most people, the ability to maintain a friendship is something that comes naturally and you don't really have to even think about it. To someone with MI that ability is almost none existent or at best "cloudy". People with MI have to be taught and constantly (at times) coached on how to do this. This in itself can be difficult and at times very stressful for children with MI to the point it can cause issues to mount up within them.
       Too many times I have had to hold and rock kids because of the inner turmoil that is rolling over and over deep inside them. I have planned "get together's" for my girls to have some craft times with others to give them an opportunity to start conversations and friendships. I have even gone so far as to trick them into doing something that I know they would have a blast doing because they would not do it any other way. I sign up for things at church and in the community just to get my kids involved with others anyway I can.
        Children with MI history are not the only ones who have difficulty with making and maintaining friendships and/or relationships. The parents of these kids go through the same thing but not for the same reasons. Parents have a hard time because caring for a child with MI is so time consuming and tiring that we do not have the time or the energy to give anything else. We are so wrapped up in their lives, trying to get them help, supports, workers even during their stable times it is difficult to do it all, not to even think about it during crisis times.
        Yes there are times when they are stable that we can breathe a little easier and we may have some "free time" to enjoy ourselves, but it all goes flying out the window as soon as a crisis hits. Even those of us who have been able to establish some friendships, those become stressed when the instability hits. Even in the best of friendships or relationships, some do come to an end due to MI. Some can't handle the stress and some just can't understand why we do what we do, time after time.
        I have just recently had an issue arise with a friend that I thought was going to end our friendship. I had to hold my breath and pray to God that it wouldn't end because I didn't know how I was going to handle it if it did. She has been my "life line" at work and I have been able to lean on her, I didn't want my child to come between what we have. Thank God because of her understanding of what I go through on most days, it was just a "hiccup" and we were able to get past it, but not without some heartfelt talks.
       Everyone in this world needs friends to help each other get by our day to day trials. We need our friendships so that we can share our joys and triumphs. Sharing ourselves with others is a necessary part of existence. God made us to be together, to share and to uplift. He didn't make us to be alone. He didn't make us to do it all by ourselves. He sure as heck did not make us to be hermits in our shells, "protected" by outsiders. God made us to feel, see, hear and rejoice. He made us to cry, shout, sing and share. Every part of our being.
      When MI strikes, this inhibits our ability to do what God intended us to do. In the same respect, God can also take what is meant to destroy, maim and kill and turn it into something that can be used for His glory. He can heal a person from MI and/or use the MI to touch others around them. God knows what goes on within each and everyone of us and use every last little bit if we just let Him.