Keeping track of one child's needs can be tricky when you add MI issues into the mix and even more difficult when another child is added to the mixture. If I wasn't all done having kids by the time my DD #1 had begun to develop MI issues, I would have been once they started. My DD #3 was only 3 years old when my DD #1 was dxed (diagnosed) with childhood depression and anxiety. My DD #3 was only 4 1/2 years old when I had to try and explain to her why her big sister couldn't come home and why she had to stay at the hospital, so the doctors could make her all better so she can come home to us. DD #2 was 9 years old at this time and had already started seeing anger issues in her for a few months but I tried to shrug it off as just being an active child with a bad temper. Little did I know that she too was having issues she couldn't even put the words to yet.
While attending meetings at the phosp (Psychiatric Hospital) and visiting DD #1, I was there on an almost daily basis. I worked my 8 1/2 hours shift and head to the phosp after work everyday then I would come home to my other two DD and try to fill them in on the "happy" times Elsie was having. I didn't want them to worry about her and get all worked up because then I had to deal with that on top of what I was doing to myself from worry. There were days I had to stop on the way home because I couldn't see through the tears if my DD # 1 had a bad day or had to be restrained. I never shared those days with the ones at home, I would "make up" stories at this point. Keeping their spirits up helped to keep mine up as well. During her stay I never allowed my DD # 2 or 3 visit their sister, I was too afraid of what they might see or hear, I didn't want to scare them. They were too young to understand why kids there were yelling almost all the time or why all the doors are locked so you can't get in or out without a buzzer going off to unlock the door. I didn't know how to even broach that subject so to avoid the questions, I told them that no one can see her but mommy and daddy.
While DD #1 was in-patient for 6 weeks, DD #2 began to really get violent. At nine years old, she had quite a temper and she was so full of energy she didn't calm down easily or quickly. This began before I learned how to safely restrain without injury to myself or my DD. There was very few "rages" that I would come out of without injury from my DD's. DD #2 used to come at me with fire in her eyes and nails ready to scratch or fists already swinging. Very soon I would have two children in the same phosp. DD #2 began in the day program, going to the phosp from 8 am - 3 pm, 5 days a week. There she worked on her anger issues, having personal therapy and group therapy everyday in addition to her tutors from the school to keep up on her classwork.
When DD #1 was stable enough she joined her sister in the day program once she was discharged from the in patient unit I had twice as many meetings and appointments to keep track of. Once both DD's were discharged from the day programs the schedules were even more fun to keep track of. Having two children who are about as opposite as they could possibly be and have the same parents, these two were. DD #1 had a language barrier when trying to express herself so she needed more of a "play therapy" to deal with her counseling issues. DD #2 on the other hand was the tomboy of the crew and talked best when she was distracted doing something hands on, thus the search for an "art therapist".
With both girls being stable enough that I was going stark raving mad anymore, I could finally relax and concentrate on the family again. Having our "family nights" and picking out movies or games to watch/play was a good distraction for myself and the girls. We were able to plan outings as well as trips. Things looked like they were getting back to normal again. This was our life, going from one crisis to another, living one day at a time and praying for longer periods in between the rages.
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