One of the reasons that I wanted to do this blog is to get the word out there about MI and the effects of it on those around them. MI creates a ripple effect in our society/community, in both positive and negative ways. Yes there can be good things that can result from an unstable period in ones life. My DD's and I struggled for years with nothing but the negative aspect of MI but now I can honestly say that we are finally seeing some good come out of it.
The ripple effect that I referred to can also include both the negative and the positive effects. How big the ripple gets and how often you see it all depends on the education of those immediately involved and the bystanders watching from the sidelines. Those in the "inner sanctum" of the ripple are the ones who can either make or break the situation, so to speak. This area of people are normally the immediate family of the MI individual or the natural/personal support people (mother, father, brother, sister, son, daughter, close friend...).
In addition to the natural/personal supports, any case workers involved with these individuals are also in that inner sanctum. These people play such a crucial role in the life of a MI person. When you have one person making some ill thought out choices can cause such a huge ripple that it takes years to see all the negative effects made by that one thing. Yet when things are looked at from all aspects and is well thought out and planned for success, it can again make a good size ripple but the positive aspects can usually be seen right away and have long lasting ability.
I have seen both the positive and the negative ripple effects in both of my DD's. Both have made many choices, positive and negative, and have had different outcomes. My DD #1 is finally experiencing some of the positive ripples after many years of negative ones. She is having a hard time dealing with this because she was so used to the negative results that she isn't sure what to make of the positive ones now. DD #1 is making some good strides in this and is scared out of her mind by it, but some stress is good for her, as it is for everyone. She needs more supports then other may need but again, that is ok and she can learn and grow from it.
My DD #2 however is experiencing some of the negative ripples of some choices she has made. This is where the second area of the ripples comes into play, the bystanders. I like to call the by standers those whom you see watching from across the street at a scene, like an accident. They watch and speculate as to what happened, who's fault it was and what the outcome will be. They never really get the "whole story" but one side of it, their own version. The majority of these by standers will never know the real who, what, when , where and the why of it.
I can separate the by standers into two sub categories, the "know it all's" and the "informers". The "know it all's" don't care about the who, what, where, when and why's because they already have it figured out in their heads what is going on. Where as the "informers" want to find out what is going on in order to help out the situation or at the least understand what is happening. Both of these by standers could potentially impede the life of a MI person.
I pray daily for those by standers that have placed themselves in the front row of our life so that they can give us support in our lives, for they are truly a God sent. I also pray for those by standers that are in the second row of our life making sure that my DD's get the services and professional supports that they need to succeed in life. I am also learning to pray for the third, fourth and fifth rows of bystanders that have gathered solely to make sure that my DD's and I can't take a breathe without their OK to do so. For these individuals need more prayer then anyone because of their ignorance and refusal to educate themselves about MI and instead choose to put up the roadblocks and walls that my DD will learn to either go around or climb over. Because like heartbreak hill, its better on the other side!
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