Many times a person who deals with MI on a daily basis whether it is in a loved one or you yourself dealing with it, walks this road alone. Some may think there is something wrong with you or makes you feel like you have a contagious disease and keeps you at arms lengh. They may not know how to act around you or it could be fear stopping them from getting too close. Many don't know enough about MI to know that with proper medication one can lead a normal life and no one would know any different.
Being touched by MI can be seen on your face, your body gestures and your personality. Those who deal with it can see it in others and understand the tired eye's, the drained face and body. You can tell when the MI is stable and when it is flying high on auto pilot. Too many see this but not many act on what they see because they don't know what to say or they don't have the time. Many don't say anything because they don't know for sure and if they inquire about it that opens one up to ridicule and questions as to why they know about MI.
It is a lonely life for a person who deals with in within their own body. One minute you are up and doing everything under the sun, cleaning from top to bottom and next you can't even get out of your own way. This process can take as little as minutes and hours, or as much as days or weeks. It can mess with your mind and not know whether you are coming or going. Your cycle (the ups and downs) can be so quick that you swear you are going to give yourself whiplash if you try to figure things out.
To make their life easier I know people who have even put a "name" to their cycle's to allow others to understand when it is not a good time to visit or chat. This way they don't have to explain what is going on when they are cycling or have to go into what is up. It's a code for those who are close to them, those who understand and will accept it now and ask questions later when it is a better time. This also allows those who care about them to know when to "keep and eye" on how bad they get or how long it is taking. Makes it easier for loved ones to keep track of the moods and know when it is time to call for help.
Having to deal with MI in yourself is a long hard road but it is also hard for those around you who love you. I know as a parent of minors who have MI, my friends list is not very long, my list of people I get together with is even shorter and my list of choices of mates is non existent. I don't even know if I remember what to do on a date, may have to ask some teenagers for advice on that one, if it ever comes calling again. Our children become our lives. We do not have room for socializing or going out with friends to have a good time or too blow off steam. When we have more then an hour or two of peace we spend it either sleeping or cleaning, LOL because usually that is the only time you have to do those things.
Anyone who knows and understand a busy life style with a heavy workload will tell you, "the only way to survive is to take an hour everyday to do something for yourself." Yes that is all good and well meaning and I think I have heard those very words come out of my mouth a few time's when talking to other parents, so yes I am guilty of this as well but in reality, most days you don't get an hour to yourself and be awake at the same time. Most of the time, this blog is the only time I have when all the children are in bed and I have time to process my thoughts. This is my "me time" and if it can help others to understand MI and how it effects more then just the individual, then it can also be someone elses "me time".
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