When I found out that I was pregnant for the second time, DD #1 was almost 5 years old, and her early medical issues were pretty much under control. She was in a good preschool getting some much needed social skills, gross motor skills as well as speech and language therapy. I was a little concerned about being pregnant again after the difficult pregnancy I had with my first child. I wondered if this pregnancy would be the same but it wasn't, thank God.
My second pregnancy was as different as night is from day then my first one. I was praying that like the differences in the pregnancy so would be the differences in health. The differences didn't stop with the pregnancy and the health, they were also opposites in temperament as well as self soothing abilities and the ability to self entertain. I had not heard my DD #1 cry until she was almost 4 months old (other then the time of birth) and my DD #2 wasn't happy unless she was moving. We joking called her our perpetual motion baby because she had to be moving to be happy. Even nursing and feeding her was difficult because she was very "nosey", she had to always be looking around taking in everything around her. She hated to cuddle or be held facing anyone, she had to face away. She even moved in her sleep like her father, one foot going at all times.
Toddlerhood was even more fun when she began to crawl and pull herself up on things. She was so curious and wanted to know what everything was. That curiosity is what got her into some dangerous situations even at a young age. I knew we had our hands full with her because unlike her sister, she had no fear of new situations. She didn't fear things that had hurt her nor did prior injuries deter her from going at it again. This was true all the way up until she was..................well let's see, three months ago and she is in her mid teen years.
When our DD #2 began to really do some pretty dangerous things with no regard to what natural consequences that followed I figured I would either be bald or gray by the time she graduated high school, if she made it that far. Thinking back, I probably should have bought stock in the makers of Tums and first aide products with as much as we have used. This was unlike her sister who was a little overly timid and still is to a point now. Both of my DD's fears or lack there of, are just as serious as the other one's timidity.
So here the battle ensues, with the age old saying, what is good for the goose is good for the gander. What is good for DD #1 is not what is good for DD #2. I have spent years trying to get DD #1 to just go out and make friends, spend time with them, know who they are and at times, do as they do - being a kid. Now on the other hand I have to pull back the reigns on DD #2 because she doesn't need to be more out going, she doesn't need to follow what her friends do.
Another age old saying "if your friend jumped off a bridge would you jump to?" For DD #2 the answer to that would be defiantly YES!!!! let's go! DD #1 wouldn't even consider doing such a thing because first of all the bridge is over water and I can't swim..............and number two, I'm scared of heights............ The list would go on for a mile as to why she wouldn't be able to do this. Granted this is not a bad thing and I would pray that none of my children would do something just because their friends did it but there comes a time when fear grips so hard that it smothers your life, your very existence.
Life needs to have a healthy medium and without that medium this is where a lot of issues begin and develop. With two children at opposite ends of the spectrum dealing with everyday life it can be difficult to get them to see eye to eye on a lot of things. Also getting them to even agree on something is so far and few between that it is not remembered from one time to another time. They both feel unloved by the other and to get them to see that is not true is almost impossible most of the time. Yet if one was being hurt or in a difficult situation with others, they would have their back just because they are family. Love is a four letter word between my two oldest children and up until my DD #2 came home after a 29 day inpatient stay a few months ago, they had not admitted to each other that they truly loved the other.
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